There are recurrent stories in the news about bullying at schools, teenage drug and alcohol use and suicides. "Experts" are interviewed and offer a variety of opinions about the causes of these apparent aberrations. I have a different view. There is a relentless consistency in destructive human behaviours that is ancient and universal. Each society develops strategies of coping with disturbances --some are more successful than others. I often remind my fellow humans that we are all narcissistic, critical of others, disputatious and unstable. We tend to destroy whatever order we create.
Children manifest these human tendencies and teenagers undergo extremes of narcissism and instability as they are transformed into adults. I wanted to share my point of view in brief, taken from two books Alcohol Problems and Solutions; Children and the Family.
Puberty changes the entire programming manifest by children and raises the ante so that the relatively safe play of younger children is replaced by the more dangerous and consequential play of teenagers. Parents are often unprepared for the major transformations that occur after puberty and feel estranged from the new person emerging awkwardly and contentiously in their own home. Teenagers are in the business of separating from their family and are drawn to the values, activities and norms of their peer group. They seek role models in the media and imitate examples of costume, values and behaviors that attract them. Movies, "music" and television programs are stronger influences than parental example or advice.
Teenagers have a tense mix of old primitive features in their mind and new modern ideas. They tend to manifest tribal behavior and at the same time develop individual, modern personalities. Adolescent society is stratified, competitive and relatively unforgiving. Teenagers cluster in small groups with strict inclusion/exclusion rules. They manifest ancient animal and human social patterns quite spontaneously and the importance of group affiliation with their peers takes precedence over family affiliation. Family values and teenager group values often conflict and the conflict is seldom resolved in favor of the family unless parents are determined and on the job 24 hours a day.
Teenagers are risk-takers and seek excitement. Teenagers copy the behavior of other teens. Teens are drawn to drinking alcoholic beverages, smoking and try a variety of illegal drugs that alter their experience and behaviour. Teenagers drink alcoholic beverages as a matter of course, even when drinking is restricted, illegal and dangerous. Teenagers often get drunk and some develop high risk drinking behaviors at an early age.
Parents of teenagers will often doubt that they have any role to play except to offer custodial support and then recognize that their jurisdiction is limited. I noted a bumper sticker that said: "Teenager for sale cheap - take over the payments."
The process of becoming a civilized, competent, compassionate human is long and arduous and some teenager do not make it. Good parents are role models who moderate or avoid the use of alcoholic beverages, do not smoke and teach their children to prefer clear minds and sane sober behavior , avoiding intoxication with any drug. Good parents offer sustained custodial support of their adolescent sons and daughters, recognize the risks of drinking and drugs. They establish lawful conduct at home.
For decades, American literature has described and decried the alienation of adolescents from their parents and a host of studies have confirmed that peer group dynamics influence teenagers more than their parents. Teenagers "hang-out" together and spontaneously form groups that drift on the periphery of the adult society. Deviant, antisocial and criminal behavior emerges as a group expression. Even "nice" teens routinely experiment with alcohol, drugs, sex and other forbidden pleasures, commit minor felonies, conceal their activities from parents and teachers and lie when confronted with allegations of improper conduct. In the worst case, teens form gangs and kill each other with guns.
Adolescent behavior and teenage gangs in particular remind us that drama on the ancient African Savannas has simply time-traveled to contemporary cities and suburbs. Teen gangs are primitive clan structures that repeat human behavior thousands of years old. Teens who are not so nice, form gangs to commit crimes and murder with appalling ease. Teenagers are narcissistic and are often trapped in self-talk and case making.
Some teenagers are kinder than others and develop an idealistic view of human life and may be at risk because they are too trusting and suggestible. Other teens are more cynical and aggressive and believe that only they understand what is right and true. Teens form cliques or gangs and the greatest cause of teenage suffering is to be excluded from a desirable group.
Members of inferior groups are treated badly by members of superior groups and outsiders emerge who are isolated and alienated individuals. Inferior or isolated individuals are taunted, threatened, pushed, bullied, ridiculed, sexually harassed, beaten, robbed and sometimes killed even by nice children in affluent Canadian and American suburbs.
Alienation pushes an unwanted teenager toward one of four destinations:
1 creative alienation; scholarship, poetry, music, art, political activism
2 withdrawal, depression and risk of suicide.
3 revenge, antisocial ideas, affiliation with groups that express hatred
4 crime
Alienated individuals can form groups that develop and express their disappointment and anger. Often these groups borrow costumes, ideology, ritual and values from existing ideologies - the skinheads, for example, adopt fascist values and admire German Nazis of the 30's and 40's who now epitomize for most adults evil intentions and deeds.
Binge drinking often begins in adolescence. Some teenagers survive their drinking escapades and become more or less reasonable adults. Others continue on an alcoholic path. Some die violent deaths, mostly in cars they drive and crash while intoxicated. Giving a teenager keys to the family car and enough money to buy beer or whiskey to take to the party is a high risk mistake that too many parents make.
Young male adolescents have the highest risk of dying in car crashes. Intoxication with alcohol and other drugs increases their risk. In a US survey, about 1 in 7 Americans aged 12 or older in 2002 (14.2 percent, or 33.5 million persons) drove under the influence of alcohol at least once in the 12 months prior to the interview. Males were nearly twice as likely as females (18.8 vs. 9.9 percent, respectively) to have driven under the influence of alcohol. More than 1 in 4 (26.6 percent) young adults aged 18 to 25 reported driving under the influence of alcohol at least once in the prior year.
Even good parents tend to be unrealistic about their adolescent children and assume they have better judgment and self-control than they actually have. Drinking a few drinks erases the little judgment that a teenager may possess. According to Michigan Universities 1998 survey: "The use of alcoholic beverages by American teen-agers had been drifting upward very gradually in recent years as they came to see behaviors such as weekend binge drinking as less and less dangerous…. one-third (33 percent) of all high school seniors report being drunk at least once in the 30-day interval preceding the survey. The risk perceived to be associated with weekend binge drinking began to rise two years ago among eighth- and 10th-graders (after having declined for several years), which may help to explain the recent downturn in alcohol use at these grade levels."
Stroh wrote: 'Teens who joke about killing brain cells while downing beers may find the idea a bit less funny when they grow up. A report by the American Medical Association shows that adolescents and young adults who drink risk brain damage, especially when it comes to learning, memory and critical thinking… the number of young people who drink is increasing. In 2000, 3.1 million people aged 17 and younger took a drink for the first time, according to the AMA report. "The brain appears to be particularly susceptible to damage during high school and college -- the prime drinking years…After only three drinks with a blood-alcohol level slightly under the 0.08 legal limit, volunteers were 25 per cent less accurate on memory tests."
Some parents face a defiant, disruptive teenager who becomes an outlaw. Usually, binge drinking and other drug use causes their deviance. Writer, Martha Dudman described a crisis with her 15-year old daughter: "Three years ago I didn't know what to do to save my daughter. She was doing everything possible to hurt herself - dropping out of school, sneaking out of the house, running away, cutting herself, stealing, taking drugs, drinking and attempting suicide. I found a reputable "education consultant" - one of a legion of such advisers in a rapidly growing industry that caters to the parents of troubled teens… There are all kinds of programs for troubled teens - from simple farmhouses where gruff, kindly couples take in four or five girls at a time to residential educational institutions where teens get group counseling. There are places where kids are actually locked up like prisoners. There are hospitals. And there are wilderness programs run by avid outdoorsmen or former marines."
There are no easy solutions for teenage outlaws. They do need custodial care, but oppressive treatment will make them worse rather than better. I have the image of sending disturbed teens to kindly relatives on the farm, far away from city activities. They should work hard physically, live close to nature, eat the best foods, and form affectionate attachments with animals and other humans. They should stay on the farm for one or two years. The same approach tends to work for alcoholics at every age.
The problem, of course, is that most families no longer have kindly relatives living on a farm. Cities have obliterated natural environments and most urban adolescents are alienated from the deep values in their nature that would give them direction and purpose. Rehab centers in rural settings may partly replace relatives on the farm, but usually do not involve physical work, proper food or sustained, meaningful relationships with healthy humans. I not a fan of the "head games" played by counselors and with other intimates in rehab centers. Good therapy is based learning to live a normal, productive life without using any alcohol or drugs. Prescription drugs should be a last resort treatment.
Also read Alcohol Problems and Solutions by Stephen Gislason MD
Children manifest these human tendencies and teenagers undergo extremes of narcissism and instability as they are transformed into adults. I wanted to share my point of view in brief, taken from two books Alcohol Problems and Solutions; Children and the Family.
Puberty changes the entire programming manifest by children and raises the ante so that the relatively safe play of younger children is replaced by the more dangerous and consequential play of teenagers. Parents are often unprepared for the major transformations that occur after puberty and feel estranged from the new person emerging awkwardly and contentiously in their own home. Teenagers are in the business of separating from their family and are drawn to the values, activities and norms of their peer group. They seek role models in the media and imitate examples of costume, values and behaviors that attract them. Movies, "music" and television programs are stronger influences than parental example or advice.
Teenagers have a tense mix of old primitive features in their mind and new modern ideas. They tend to manifest tribal behavior and at the same time develop individual, modern personalities. Adolescent society is stratified, competitive and relatively unforgiving. Teenagers cluster in small groups with strict inclusion/exclusion rules. They manifest ancient animal and human social patterns quite spontaneously and the importance of group affiliation with their peers takes precedence over family affiliation. Family values and teenager group values often conflict and the conflict is seldom resolved in favor of the family unless parents are determined and on the job 24 hours a day.
Teenagers are risk-takers and seek excitement. Teenagers copy the behavior of other teens. Teens are drawn to drinking alcoholic beverages, smoking and try a variety of illegal drugs that alter their experience and behaviour. Teenagers drink alcoholic beverages as a matter of course, even when drinking is restricted, illegal and dangerous. Teenagers often get drunk and some develop high risk drinking behaviors at an early age.
Parents of teenagers will often doubt that they have any role to play except to offer custodial support and then recognize that their jurisdiction is limited. I noted a bumper sticker that said: "Teenager for sale cheap - take over the payments."
The process of becoming a civilized, competent, compassionate human is long and arduous and some teenager do not make it. Good parents are role models who moderate or avoid the use of alcoholic beverages, do not smoke and teach their children to prefer clear minds and sane sober behavior , avoiding intoxication with any drug. Good parents offer sustained custodial support of their adolescent sons and daughters, recognize the risks of drinking and drugs. They establish lawful conduct at home.
For decades, American literature has described and decried the alienation of adolescents from their parents and a host of studies have confirmed that peer group dynamics influence teenagers more than their parents. Teenagers "hang-out" together and spontaneously form groups that drift on the periphery of the adult society. Deviant, antisocial and criminal behavior emerges as a group expression. Even "nice" teens routinely experiment with alcohol, drugs, sex and other forbidden pleasures, commit minor felonies, conceal their activities from parents and teachers and lie when confronted with allegations of improper conduct. In the worst case, teens form gangs and kill each other with guns.
Adolescent behavior and teenage gangs in particular remind us that drama on the ancient African Savannas has simply time-traveled to contemporary cities and suburbs. Teen gangs are primitive clan structures that repeat human behavior thousands of years old. Teens who are not so nice, form gangs to commit crimes and murder with appalling ease. Teenagers are narcissistic and are often trapped in self-talk and case making.
Some teenagers are kinder than others and develop an idealistic view of human life and may be at risk because they are too trusting and suggestible. Other teens are more cynical and aggressive and believe that only they understand what is right and true. Teens form cliques or gangs and the greatest cause of teenage suffering is to be excluded from a desirable group.
Members of inferior groups are treated badly by members of superior groups and outsiders emerge who are isolated and alienated individuals. Inferior or isolated individuals are taunted, threatened, pushed, bullied, ridiculed, sexually harassed, beaten, robbed and sometimes killed even by nice children in affluent Canadian and American suburbs.
Alienation pushes an unwanted teenager toward one of four destinations:
1 creative alienation; scholarship, poetry, music, art, political activism
2 withdrawal, depression and risk of suicide.
3 revenge, antisocial ideas, affiliation with groups that express hatred
4 crime
Alienated individuals can form groups that develop and express their disappointment and anger. Often these groups borrow costumes, ideology, ritual and values from existing ideologies - the skinheads, for example, adopt fascist values and admire German Nazis of the 30's and 40's who now epitomize for most adults evil intentions and deeds.
Binge drinking often begins in adolescence. Some teenagers survive their drinking escapades and become more or less reasonable adults. Others continue on an alcoholic path. Some die violent deaths, mostly in cars they drive and crash while intoxicated. Giving a teenager keys to the family car and enough money to buy beer or whiskey to take to the party is a high risk mistake that too many parents make.
Young male adolescents have the highest risk of dying in car crashes. Intoxication with alcohol and other drugs increases their risk. In a US survey, about 1 in 7 Americans aged 12 or older in 2002 (14.2 percent, or 33.5 million persons) drove under the influence of alcohol at least once in the 12 months prior to the interview. Males were nearly twice as likely as females (18.8 vs. 9.9 percent, respectively) to have driven under the influence of alcohol. More than 1 in 4 (26.6 percent) young adults aged 18 to 25 reported driving under the influence of alcohol at least once in the prior year.
Even good parents tend to be unrealistic about their adolescent children and assume they have better judgment and self-control than they actually have. Drinking a few drinks erases the little judgment that a teenager may possess. According to Michigan Universities 1998 survey: "The use of alcoholic beverages by American teen-agers had been drifting upward very gradually in recent years as they came to see behaviors such as weekend binge drinking as less and less dangerous…. one-third (33 percent) of all high school seniors report being drunk at least once in the 30-day interval preceding the survey. The risk perceived to be associated with weekend binge drinking began to rise two years ago among eighth- and 10th-graders (after having declined for several years), which may help to explain the recent downturn in alcohol use at these grade levels."
Stroh wrote: 'Teens who joke about killing brain cells while downing beers may find the idea a bit less funny when they grow up. A report by the American Medical Association shows that adolescents and young adults who drink risk brain damage, especially when it comes to learning, memory and critical thinking… the number of young people who drink is increasing. In 2000, 3.1 million people aged 17 and younger took a drink for the first time, according to the AMA report. "The brain appears to be particularly susceptible to damage during high school and college -- the prime drinking years…After only three drinks with a blood-alcohol level slightly under the 0.08 legal limit, volunteers were 25 per cent less accurate on memory tests."
Some parents face a defiant, disruptive teenager who becomes an outlaw. Usually, binge drinking and other drug use causes their deviance. Writer, Martha Dudman described a crisis with her 15-year old daughter: "Three years ago I didn't know what to do to save my daughter. She was doing everything possible to hurt herself - dropping out of school, sneaking out of the house, running away, cutting herself, stealing, taking drugs, drinking and attempting suicide. I found a reputable "education consultant" - one of a legion of such advisers in a rapidly growing industry that caters to the parents of troubled teens… There are all kinds of programs for troubled teens - from simple farmhouses where gruff, kindly couples take in four or five girls at a time to residential educational institutions where teens get group counseling. There are places where kids are actually locked up like prisoners. There are hospitals. And there are wilderness programs run by avid outdoorsmen or former marines."
There are no easy solutions for teenage outlaws. They do need custodial care, but oppressive treatment will make them worse rather than better. I have the image of sending disturbed teens to kindly relatives on the farm, far away from city activities. They should work hard physically, live close to nature, eat the best foods, and form affectionate attachments with animals and other humans. They should stay on the farm for one or two years. The same approach tends to work for alcoholics at every age.
The problem, of course, is that most families no longer have kindly relatives living on a farm. Cities have obliterated natural environments and most urban adolescents are alienated from the deep values in their nature that would give them direction and purpose. Rehab centers in rural settings may partly replace relatives on the farm, but usually do not involve physical work, proper food or sustained, meaningful relationships with healthy humans. I not a fan of the "head games" played by counselors and with other intimates in rehab centers. Good therapy is based learning to live a normal, productive life without using any alcohol or drugs. Prescription drugs should be a last resort treatment.
Also read Alcohol Problems and Solutions by Stephen Gislason MD